Useless poetry

There are times when I write, I’m not able to look back upon the finished product of my poetry. It comes just as fast as a shooting star in a twilight-lit sky. As soon as my pen brushes the blank canvas, I am in another world. Writing as if time is racing against me, to finish the lines I write, before it’s too late.

There are times I don’t want to read that painful thought or emotion, story or confession, for I feel it is more than I can bare.

So I just turn the page. I’ll take that chance of misspellings and errors. Of not clearly getting my point across with everything that is bubbling up inside of my soul. Sometimes I turn that page so fast that, I secretly wish for it to be forgotten. For all of this to be just a dream. A writer stuck within a nightmare.

~Flower Shop~

In a dark hole I hide.

Reliving all my past memories.

Ones that were once a beautiful artwork

Upon my artists brush.

To now a decaying ash

All much too painful to revisit.

I’m digging a hole to bury

Everything that I still hold inside.

Creating as much noise within my heart as I can

To silence all of these demons.

How my heart weeps!

I am now mourning the life of a girl I once knew.

One that is now no longer recognizable .

A heart that no longer beats as I faintly breathe.

Oh! How I am ashamed!

10 years…..

Such a long time to exist as something you once knew.

And now it’s all a distant blur of a memory.

Now I am unable to see through my pain filled eyes.

All of my hard work which I thought I was building into dreams…

To crumble in a moments time..

To have it all end in such utter quietness.

No closure.

No way to say, “I’m sorry…”

I suppose that is God’s way of saying

“You were just not good enough.”

-A failure-

To think….

I gave 10 years of my life,

Of blood, sweat and tears.

All the best parts of me that I had left inside,

(Which wasn’t much to start with)

Had somehow deteriorated into ,

Absolutely nothing in this harsh world.

Now all my days are spent,

Just hoping and praying and wishing,

That I will fall deeper and deeper into nothingness.

All these prayers of hopeless wishes,

Are all just turning up scorned,

Upon my creators ear.

Please forsake me….

 

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