Sometimes, our own worst enemy can be just fragmented pieces of an overactive mind. Figments of our very own imagination. The angel sitting on one shoulder…..while the devil is laughing on the other.
For all the moments that I’m left with this quiet/loud mind of mine…..I ponder at times, if I will go insane. And if so, how long will it take.
Food for thought, for the “worried” mind.
Alan Watts, “The Mind“:
“What is a mind in the grip of vicious circles? Well, one of the most obvious instances that we all know, is the phenomena of worry.
The doctor tell you that you have to have an operation. And that has been set up so automatically everybody worries about it. But since worrying takes away your appetite and your sleep, It’s not good for you. But you can’t stop worrying and therefor you get additionally worried that you are worrying. And then furthermore, because that is quite obscured, and you’re mad at yourself because you do it, you are worried because you worry, because you worry. That is a vicious circle.
So now, can you allow your mind to be quiet? Isn’t it difficult… because the mind seems to be like a monkey. Jumping up and down and jabbering all the time. Once you’ve learned to think, you can’t stop. And an enormous number of people, devote their lives to keeping their minds busy and feel extremely uncomfortable with silence.
When you’re alone, nobody is saying anything and there’s nothing to do……there’s worry. This lack of distraction. I’m left alone with myself and I want to get away from myself. I’m always wanting to get away from myself. That’s why I go to the movies, that’s why I read mystery stories, that’s why I go after girls, or anything that you do. You get drunk or whatever…..
I don’t want to be with myself.
So well, why do you wanna run away from yourself? What’s so bad about it? Why do you want to forget this? Why do you want to become this way?
Because you are addicted to thoughts. This is a drug. A very dangerous one. Compulsive thinking going on and on and on and on… all.. the.. time. It’s a habit.
So, there’s a difficulty about stopping that activity. And you really have to stop it, if you want to be sane. Because, If I talk all the time, I don’t hear what anyone else has to say. Then I’ll end up in the situation that I have nothing to talk about, but my own talking.
So in exactly the same way….if I think all the time, I won’t have anything to think about, except thoughts. So in order to have something to think about, there are times when you simply must stop thinking.
Well…..how do you do that…?
The first rule is, don’t try to. Because if you do, you will be like someone trying to make rough waters smooth with a flat iron. And all that will do is stir it up.
So in the same way as a muddy, turbulent pool quiets itself when left “alone, you have to know when to leave your mind alone.
It will quiet itself.”