The Child Inside My Heart

There’s a heart out there,
That can be heard,
As it wanders up and down,
Darkened lonely streets.

Its cries are bellowed out,
Into an unsettling dark.
A morbid and vain attempt,
-A sirens call-
To lure your love back home,
Once again.

(It craves to be cradled,
Into your lonely forgotten arms.)

It always listens for you.
Upon every heartbeat,
In those shadowy steps…
As each echoing attempt,
Comes back in droves,
Of shattered-
Mourning waves.

(My heart is still that child,
Who can’t seem to comprehend,
That the essence of you,
Is now gone.)

How do you convince something,
Even in the midst of your own disbelief,
That sometimes,
There are things in this world,
That are just going to break?

That sometimes,
They will always haunt you?

It’s as if,
Love were a toy…
To be discarded like some used “thing”,
Then to be placed back onto some empty shelf,
Once all of its joy,
Has been selfishly spent.

(Tell me…
How does one convince this child,
Who now lives so brokenly,
Inside of my heart,
To finally let you go?)

I just don’t know…

 

 

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A Theory In Heartbreak

One day,
Everything became dark…
And the sun refused to shine.
It left a vast darkness-
Of emptiness;
Upon diamondless eyes,
Refusing to break.

That’s when these tears,
Fell like stars…
Blanketing heartbreak,
From a black hole,
Laying quietly,
Underneath.

I think now…
I know how,
The galaxies were created.

(There are over 100 billion observable galaxies in the universe.)

 

Contradiction

It’s the little things in life-
The blessings,
The hardships,
The act to be still.
How it can shape you,
Into the being that you are.

Even when it feels like,
Your running around,
In a blanket of darkness…
Searching for hope,
Hating how hard life can be,
Knowing that the biggest impacts,
In this screwed up world,
Are going to be the ones,
That destroy you the most.

If you ask me,
Life is one big contradiction.

(And this is what confuses me the most.)

A Novel Idea

And there it was…
All laid out on a pretty table.
The men were always going to close their hearts;
To start a new chapter in their lives.
-Without me-

While mine laid threadbare,
Like an open display of skin,
Waiting for anyone to come around,
And to caress these time worn pages of mine.

I guess,
I’ll always be an open book…
And pretty soon,
I think I’ll start to charge a fee.

Who said you can’t make a living…
Out of broken hearts.

Dante’s Inferno

There is so much death in here-
My body that is…
I breathe in these decomposed fumes,
Exhale my life’s rotting ashes,
Yet somehow…
I’m still here.

It’s dumbfounding, you see…
How a stagnant body can go on,
How it continues to live,
Inside a nonexistent life…
A life I don’t want,
Nor is it one,
That I asked for…

-I’m screaming in tortured vain.-

I get up,
To suffer…
I go to bed,
To suffer more.
Confined in night terrors,
Dying over and over,
To repeat the same thing,
When I awake.

I’m dead inside this skin.
Which is suffocating tightly,
Covered in charcoaled brimstone,
Screaming in a voiceless agony.

It’s a never ending loop.
And I can’t help but think…
I must have died some time;
Long ago.

I’m left now in a void,
Where only demons dwell.

(Dear God,
Save me from this pit,
Forgive me of my sins,
Release me from this blazing hell.)

For, now I fear,
I’m just left over pieces-
A troubled soul;
Gone wrong.
Yesterdays fragmented ashes,
Of a girl I once knew,
Who is now stuck in a eternal funeral pyre.
-Burning away-
Destined to repeat a never ending story,
Which has imprisoned me inside my own-
Dante’s Inferno.

(Written in a fever of anguish.)

The Missing Pieces of You

Behind these shattered eyes, dwells a portrait.
Frozen images, of hardened regret.
It’s colorless, with old fading smiles,
From a past I can’t seem to forget.

These dark pieces are scattered in chaos.
Jigsawed edges- God, they cut like a knife.
And each corner has its own place of sorrow, 
Trying to heal its old self back to life.

I’m just so tired of trying to forget you.
Why you left me, remains so unclear.
Because these pieces connecting; run jagged,
As this heart mourns for love to be near.

And this puzzle won’t finish without you…
Our picture is broken, with a future unseen.
Not while the fragments of my heart, keep on breaking.
I’m just pieces of you, without me.